Debunking the Cheaters Anthem...

With the fabulous weather we've had here in Chicago the past month, I've have a lot of time to ride around with my windows down, jamming the latest hits. Now, as much as I love a good beat and inviting melody, at some point I had to actually listen to some of the lyrics.
One song, "What'cha Say," seemed to be a particular fan favorite. After hearing it play what seemed like a million times, I got to thinking: who does this guy think he is? Tiger Woods? He is literally singing the national anthem for cheaters!

The scary thing is this Jason Derulo character is far from being alone. And, I'm not talking about the 50 cent, pour champagne down clapping ass cheek songs--those are in a league of their own. I'm talking about songs that suggest infidelity is the norm. Off the top of my head I can think of two other songs that showcase this relationship pitfall: R. Kelly remix of Jazmine's "Bust Your Windows," and "Leaving Tonight," by Jennifer Hudson feat. Neyo.

I'm not an overt feminist, I'm not a "hater," I simply find this behavior disgusting. Everyone from Tiger Woods to Jesse James to John Edwards has been caught in the act. It's like an epidemic! For those of us who don't have the "luxury" of leaving the detective work to the paparazzi, social networking sites can pretty much do the trick. They are a cheater's kryptonite. Use them responsibly.

Let's just put it this way: if he smells like a cheater, looks like a cheater and acts like a cheater...9 time out of 10...HE IS A CHEATER. And, by god, don't think you are an anomaly. If a man cheats on you once...he will do it again. If you catch him, he'll only work harder to conceal it thereafter. Listen to your gut, listen to your friends--the real ones--and don't enable.

As an experiment, I decided to translate the following lyrics into their true form. So, next time you hear a song like this...laugh, and promise yourself you won't ever fall for this nonsense!

Here's the video just incase you want the total ambiance experience...

What'cha Say lyrics

Verse 1

...I was so wrong for so long
Only tryin' to please myself (myself)
Girl, I was caught up in her lust
When I don't really want no one else
So, no I know I should of treated you better
But me and you were meant to last forever...

Translation: I treated you like shit...I only cared about myself...I was by no means faithful, BUT (and this is where it gets good) despite all that...you and I (and my bad grammar) were meant to last forever, so I must convince you that I will reform my ways. That way, I can once again have my cake and eat it too--until I get caught again, of course.

The Hook--and might I point out how appropriate "hook" is in this sense

...So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me girl...


Translation: Let me in so that I can spit some more bull shit...let me kiss your ass for a while--just long enough to make you forget that I probably came up with some REAL STUPID excuses when you caught me, pants down with another woman. I couldn't help it, I panicked and my "man-whore instincts" wouldn't let me go down without a fight. BUT (and the buts are always so entertaining.lol) at least I'm about to be a famous, which (like good ol Tiger) entitles me, at the very least, to try to buy your forgiveness. So, what do you think?

Verse 2

How, could I live with myself
Knowing that I let our love go (love go)
And ooh, when I do with one chance
I just gotta let you know
I know what I did wasn't clever
But me and you we're meant to be together

Translation: How will I live under the scrutiny of my own actions? And, worse...what will my boys think if I can't get you back? Ooh, what I would give for one more chance. Don't fool yourself, I'll likely eventually do the same, but I can promise you one thing: I'll be more clever with my infidelity next time. The longer I can fool you--the easier it will be to manipulate you and convince you that all of my indiscretions ought to be forgotten--given my laziness and overall disinterest in courting another female when I have you to fall back on.

Verse 3

Girl, tell me whatcha said (said)
I don't want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin'
Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain't right, girl
Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
I don't want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin'
Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain't right

Translation: I will pout incessantly if you leave me, because I need you in my life...to perpetuate my false dignity. Please, don't make me stomp around like a two year old and revert to being hostile with you, because I'm not getting my way. So, now that I gave you that heartfelt and agonizing **sense sarcasm** apology, what is your decision?

Alright, what did we learn? A fascinating principle: "When we expect better, we receive better." Bottomline: Raise our level of expectation in relationships, friends.